The Buckland-in-the-Vale and Sandstone Tor Gay Book Club by John Wiltshire
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

After a reread and loving it even more, I feel more comfortable sharing in more detail why I like this so much. I don't usually reveal plot in my reviews but will in this case, so beware. Many spoilers ahead.

The book starts off with the luridly, lycra-clad and openly gay school teacher, Rory, seeing a sign inviting people to the inaugural meeting of a gay book club.

Seeing he thought he was the only gay man in a quiet, country village on Dartmoor, he's overjoyed at the opportunity to meet other gay men. Not in a bar, where hooking up for sex is the major preoccupation, but discussing books! Because literature and books are Rory's passion.

It's not until the next chapter that we discover that it is actually a club devoted to reading gay books.

Thus we meet Gertrude who becomes another of John's classic characters, on par with Miles Toogood's grandmother and Babushka from his More Heat than the Sun series. All are fiercely independent elderly ladies who are much loved and respected by the main protagonists and their “adopted” children.

Gert, we discover much later, is single because she didn't know Adam's father, Brian, was himself gay. Back in those days they never mentioned or even envisaged such a thing. Men were “confirmed bachelors”.

“Perhaps I wouldn’t have wasted the best years of my life chasing you if they had. I’d have realised why you ran so fast.”
Brian stared at her for a long time but only replied calmly, “Perhaps I’d have known why I was running.”

So when she comes across some steamy gay novels while on holidays, she's fascinated and decides they're just the thing to brighten the lives of the “old dears” back home. From the titles, “Hard Ride” and “Deep Tunnel” we can assume the books are probably erotica or porn of the James Lear variety.

”Was it possible she had discovered something entirely new? Was she the only woman in the world who had read such a book and...Gertrude was thrown, which was a new occurrence for her. She'd been pretty sure of things for most of her eighty years. She wasn't convinced she liked this sensation of standing on the edge of something so tantalising and far beyond her expectations.

Gert and her companion, Ivy, have referred to themselves and their friends as the old dears for over forty years. According to the dedication these characters are inspired by women in a real book club who are friends (and possibly relatives) of the author. Mostly widows or spinsters, the old dears are asset rich, thanks to the growing value of their properties, but dirt poor. We discover later that one cannot afford to keep buying hearing aids and another uses an old push bike for balance instead of a walking frame.

It's through Gert's eyes that we meet the rest of the group: Constance, Jane, Ivy, Mary, Myrtle, Hilary and Thea. Each is a fabulous character in their own right. Whose strengths and weaknesses are well known to Gert as she has known them for so long.

Gert is an integral part of the story. She admits to herself that

she would not have wanted anyone to interfere with her unrequited courtship. Her time on Earth, with all its petty frustrations, had worked out for her as it had been ordained. It was wrong to interfere in other people’s affairs. Which was why she and the old dears were treading so carefully with Adam and Rory.

however, she is also very aware of the march of time.

Things seemed to be closing in on her, time running out, and she felt a frustrating imperative about opportunities slipping away. If only these young men, still in their twenties, could see how short life was, how few opportunities anyone had to simply live each day to the full.

Using devious tactics, one borrowed from Sun Tzu's “The Art of War” she does what she can to encourage a relationship between the two gay men who unexpectedly join their meeting. Because

Rory and Adam were the embodiment of gay book romance. They had the main necessary ingredient after all:mutual initial apathy

Mind you, this antipathy is not exclusive to gay romances. Think Elizabeth and Darcy in “Pride and Prejudice”!

So, after an unfortunate start, she even sets up a sub group, with just the old dears called the Adam and Rory RPS Club (Real person slash for the uninitiated).

I loved that Adam and Rory were accepted so unequivocally. There was no resentment at these two men turning up. They were welcomed with open arms because, after all, don't gay men have a right to be part of a club that discusses books about them?

Gertrude had not expected her book club to do much more than pass a few winter's evenings for her ladies in pleasant company, sharing a newfound delight in theoretical men and their intriguing love lives. She'd had no idea that two characters would literally walk off the pages and come to her first meeting. Todd and Brad and Danny and Jimmy and all of her favourites mixed up and even prettier, yet solid and in the flesh, and she had literally bumped into them as they'd hovered in the doorway like the helpess creatures they were.

From then on, seating arrangements, cups of tea and biscuits were skilfully brought in to achieve certain results. Because

Oh, what delicate, shy, creations they were, men, when you got beneath the leather and the strut. She'd actually smelt the fear.

What hope did Adam and Rory have?

Rory, “the very pretty one” identifies strongly with Hugh Dancy and Grigg, the character he played in the film The Jane Austen Book Club. Rory loves books with a passion and longs for a bookworthy romance. He wants his Heathcliff (Wuthering Heigts), his Gabriel Oak (Far from the Madding Crowd) ”whenever you look up there I shall be—and whenever I look up, there will be you.” He knows that life is not like a romance book, but he fervently wishes it was.

For years, he'd dreamed of being a teacher and sharing his love of books with children. However, he is quickly becoming disillusioned with his career.

Teaching English to Year Ten wasn’t fun. Not difficult, merely…lacklustre. The Department for Education had apparently decided anything intellectual and actually related to an education in English literature was too fraught with cultural elitism to attempt. The set book this year, consequently, was a gang-related graphic novel. Year Ten enjoyed colouring in the pictures though.

Added to this is his inability to understand or cope with another teacher, Lexi.

While the book is very funny in places, I didn't laugh at Lexi, and I don't think the reader is meant to. I've decided I must still be stuck in the second tier of feminism as described in this article. I also think that you can stand up for your rights without impugning those of others or being downright hostile to the opposite gender. My attitude is always that no one has the right to be rude. Old, young, male, female, fat, skinny, rich or poor. So when Lexi said things like this:

Rory nodded and debated volunteering to carry her heavy book bag for her. Sometimes she accepted these offers gracefully, but sometimes he got a lecture on insidious male benevolent sexism, and she would accuse him of thinking of her as incompetent or needing his protection.

and from her partner, Susan

he was nothing more than a biological accident. When his stunned expression had been mistaken for defiance, Susan had added that in her opinion he was a walking, talking deficiency disease. Lexi had saved him by explaining he was gay.

Yet, knowing he was gay, Lexi still shamed him into handing out pamphlets entitled “Our Culture Perpetuates Violence Against Women” and “Male Violence on the Increase” while during Rape Culture awareness Day at the school he had to stand under a banner proclaiming “Violent-Masculinity and Victim Blaming”. Her style of rabid feminism is not shared by all females, as evidenced in this article

Her rudeness extended to belittlement of him for daring to be skinny.

She was particularly vocal about thin privilege (#thinprivilege), which she accused him of daily, citing many examples of how he shamed those who were obviously equally fit and healthy but nevertheless discriminated against in the workplace by virtue of being fortunate enough to be fat.

and

she commented on his cycling shorts. They were oppressive apparently, and it was thoughtless of him to parade around in them, given they only made such attire for skinny people.

It's interesting comparing her to his treatment of Peyton and Miles in More Heat than the Sun series. Both characters are overweight, but neither use this as an excuse for anything and neither are ever rude.

Lexi, on first meeting Adam, the other MC, immediately launches into an aggressive diatribe on the way women should be able to serve on the front lines in the army regardless of the fact that they do not share a male's physical capabilities. According to her, the rules should be changed to suit them. She doesn't get Adam's sarcasm in wondering whether the rules of engagement will also change to match it.

Ah, Adam. If ever there was an anti hero it's him. He starts out by insulting Rory when they first meet, inadvertantly punches him at the first book club meeting and then, at every opportunity tries to prove to him that getting involved in a relationship with him would be a BAD IDEA. He doesn't do romantic, He isn't nice. He's only interested in sex. And Rory should look elsewhere.

Yet despite all this, we keep seeing signs that this is all surface bluster. Underneath he's yearning for a connection as much as Rory is. Gert sees through his bluster immediately, because she knows about his tragic past. She doesn't know the full extent of the tragedies however and the self blame he is heaping on himself.

Adam left the army because of this tragic incident and is deliberately rejecting all the things that reminds him of his time there. After years of inspection and maintaining rigorous standards, he deliberately doesn't clean the house and takes no care in his appearance. But he's finding it difficult

Step by step, he’d decoupled himself from the army and all it had meant to him. A conscious survival mechanism to turn from something he could no longer have to something he needed to become: squalor in the house, foulness of mood, existing on anger and self-pity.
...But it was so hard to let go, to be so much less than he had once been. To be so diminished.

He likes to think he's a bad ass and then does things like this:

Unwilling to disturb his father by dragging three very reluctant collies back out to the yard, he gave them each a pat and tickle of rebuke then left them to it.

and he takes an instant liking to Charles, the frail husband of one of the old dears whose acting abilities are called into play one day

He lifted the old man, making a small joke about them having to stop meeting like this and tucked him in securely.

and it's not just the males he helps. When he comes across Fat Sam, the pet he had left behind

Adam put his hands on either side of the old dog’s face and felt an emotion so overwhelming he thought he might cry. He covered by gently play wrestling the silky ears.

But Rory is incensed that Adam left Fat Sam behind when he left Sandhurst. In fact, he discovers that

Being with Adam was like rolling in barbed wire—extremely uncomfortable yet increasingly entangling. Struggle for your life, or stay still and twist in the wind, either way there seemed no escape.

Because, even though they both know it will probably end in tears (for different reasons) they're drawn to one another. True humor occurs when Gert and the old dears try to help but often end up hindering their inevitable coming together.

But the old dears stick with both the book club and their efforts to get the two together. Rory suggests different books for their reading and they indulge him by agreeing. First off, Brokeback Mountain (which they found too short and wanted a happy ending) then a fictitious series which they loved, starring a librarian, Andrew French, and a homophobic detective called Jack (obviously based on Josh Lanyon's Adrien English!).

Adam, obviously uncomfortable at the similarities between him and Jake had been scathing of the series and after Adam's inexcusable behaviour at Sandhurst, Rory also rejects the series as "silly and unrealistic" and suggests instead they read The Front Runner by Patricia Nell Warren as the ending was much more realistic.

The (old dears were) willing to take his recommendations, of course, and lovely Andrew and amusing Jack were therefore put to one side.

But death intervened and securing their future became paramount.

How this was achieved was probably more for literary suspense than fulfilling a feminist agenda, but it had the added benefit of leaving them with cash for possible future health issues rather than once again being asset rich and cash poor.

There's no doubt that Adam and Rory wouldn't have got together without the intervention of the old dears, but I loved the way there was no intrusive or insensitive manipulation. If any happened, it was inadvertant and forgiven because Adam and Rory knew they meant well and wanted only the best for them. Everything was done through understanding of what makes people tick. Of seeing what was unsaid as well as what was said. Of treating people with respect for what they did rather than what they demanded. And if Adam or Rory fucked up and acted badly, then they tried to discover why.

The writing is a delight as usual. Sometimes his books need to be read twice to ensure you haven't missed things. This time, although there's a trademark John Wiltshire dog, it's really the old dears who steal the book. Especially as they espouse that great British tradition of self deprecation and the ability to laugh at their problems.

More importantly, the financial security and support of Adam and Rory as a team, has left the old dears in a position to add another type of distraction to fill their days. The Buckland-in-the-Vale and Sandstone Tor Murder-Mystery Club

I'm really looking forward to reading that.

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Have A Little Faith In Me by Brad Vance
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"Words of love, so soft and tender, won't win a girl's heart anymore.
If you love her, then you must send her
Somewhere where she's never been before."
John Phillips, The Mamas & the Papas

It's appropriate to start this review with lyrics, because this is a story about music and the words are kinda appropriate.

I've been a fan of Brad's writing for years. Each book has been different. From raunchy BDSM erotica to realistic gritty historicals to jock sports romance. There's been animals, disabilities, kidnappings, Greek islands, so when I heard he was writing about rockstars. I figured it was just Brad trying something different.

Now I love music, but I'm not a big fan of the sub genre, so I didn't rush out to buy it when it was first released. But I decided to give it a go when it finally escaped from the KU jail.

For a couple of chapters, I was afraid I was going to get yet another "Rockstar Romance" with its predictable bad boys. My fears were compounded when I started ticking off all the cliches: rock concert, pushy manager, hair, tatts, posturing, the vibes, the ego, the angst, the melodrama.

Then it changed.

And Brad Vance led me down a path "I've never been before."

Like Rocky, his gutsy Rockstar hero, "Have a Little Faith" breaks a lot of the unwritten MM romance rules. For starters, God and religion play a major role. The harsh reality of being gay is explored. He absolutely shatters the one which insists as many scenes as possible should involve the two MCs interacting as they explore their growing relationship. Then there are the ones about backstory that I often espouse: split it up, spread it out, have it revealed at relevant points and avoid the dreaded flashback!

It's almost funny reading reviews which complain about each of these rules being broken. Because, for me, the book works well precisely for that reason. And it works because Brad, as a talented author, knows those rules, questions them and then breaks them.

In this book, who the characters are and why they are like they are IS the story.

The fact that they get together at the end is made so much more believable because we've seen who they are. What went into their formation. Yet also why they are so right for each other. Why Rocky, the strong defiant survivor, a man who is prepared to take on the world would be interested in a closeted homophobic jock, no matter how hot he is. Why they need each other. What each can bring to the relationship. Why it will work. Why insta lust but avowed hatred can turn to love.

Rather than describe how this happens, I'll let the author take us into the mind of the Preacher's Son who was raised to believe sodomy was a sin before he even knew the meaning of the word.
But as he started to think for himself, he realized that the:

....whole system is all about sinning. You can have the sin, as long as you’re punished. The system needs you to sin, so that it can continually re-exert control over you through the punishment, so they can point to you and say to the others, ‘let that be a lesson!

And later

....you can’t be tempted to sin if you don’t watch TV, or go to the movies, or listen to the radio, because they were all about sex, sex, sex. The Reverend rarely talked about other kinds of temptation. He never admonished any of his significantly obese parishioners to resist the urge to overeat, never admonished his business-owning parishioners not to cheat on their taxes. No, it was sex that was the Reverend’s preoccupation.

And when the Christian lobby grew more political

If you didn’t use negative words in your speech, the enemy was defanged – they couldn’t run a pull quote displaying your ignorance and hatred if all the words were about love, and defense, and “building strong families.”

....You didn’t have to say that the gays wanted to destroy marriage, if you said you were “defending marriage, protecting marriage.” You didn’t have to say that gay people couldn’t marry because gay sex was a sin and sin put you outside God’s love; you just said that “marriage is about love, the love between a man and a woman,” and everyone knew what you meant. You didn’t have to say that gay people were unfit parents when instead you could say that “a child needs a mother and a father.

Note, these quotes are scattered through the book (just like backstory usually is) but I'm pulling them together as they so accurately reflect the thought patterns of a sector of society which continues to have a huge impact.

And it wasn't just about gay people. It was anyone who was different.

There were plenty of people around him who were racist. Miss June was always talking about the “damn niggers,” but she’d be immediately told by the other old ladies to keep her voice down –it wasn’t thinking it, but saying it, that was wrong. “They can’t help it if they were born that way” was about the kindest thing the other old birds had to say on the subject.

....Like the secret codes used to denounce the gays, cloaked in positivity, everyone (white) said that “it wasn’t segregation, just that everyone would just be happier and better off, keeping with their own people.”

But Rocky is sensitive enough to question and is brave enough to embrace the truth when he realizes he is one of "them".

Nobody’s immune to the culture around them. It soaks into you in ways you can’t even see, even as you declare yourself free of it.

And once he escapes those restrictions,

It was freeing to Rocky, to think this way. Everything in his life had been so regimented, the idea that these things could just be “random,” just…happen impromptu, startled him.

But the process took time. There were stages to go through. A rite of passage lined with thorns.

No more gods on posters, no more gods on screens, the ones who had taken the place of the invisible God he’d been raised to worship, the God in whom he’d lost his faith long ago. Now, finally, he had a flesh and blood god he could touch. And worship, with his own flesh.

He saw so many pictures of “hot” guys, shirtless, with great bodies and decent-enough features, but in most of those faces, there was just no heat there. They stood and posed and to Rocky, they were like empty vessels. So lacking in that extra something that they just sucked the air out of the scene.

Obviously, Rocky is not just another HAWT rock star! So how does a man like this end up with Dex?

I'll leave you to find out, because you really need to know who Dex is, to understand that.

After I finished, I went back to the blogs Brad wrote around that time.

Take character's backstory for example. This blog he wrote back in July 2014 sum up why he wrote the book this way: https://bradvanceauthor.com/2014/07/0...

There's lots of good stuff there, but this quote stood out.

But for me, if you just say (and you’ve heard this pet peeve before), “Here’s Rocky the Rock Star and he Really Rocks, here’s some sex,” then why should I care if he falls in love or not? If characters are nothing more than the same paper dolls with different outfits (rock star, soldier, barbarian, billionaire, vampire, collect ’em all)…who cares?

And I suppose, I think, I guess, that a lot of readers have their own ideas of “the rock star” or “the billionaire,” and are only looking for the paper doll, they don’t want an author to get between them and their idea of what a hot rock star is like. I don’t get that. I like, no, I want, need, to surrender to an author, I want that author to create a real person who I want to spend time with.

And "surrendering to an author, means being willing to trust them. Why? Because he respects the intelligence and sensitivity of his fans. He loves us and that's why he's interested in leading us into places we've never been before.

Perhaps by veering so far from the norm, it can't be classified as a true romance. But it makes an interesting read. Different from the norm. You end up caring deeply for both characters. They are influenced by and the products of their environment, but it doesn't change who they are underneath. The fighter and the protector.

So if you're brave enough to take that journey. Do.

And when you've finished, if, like me, you're interested in the creative process. Here's links to some other blog posts about the book which was originally envisioned as a series of sexy traditional rockstar genre shorts to make him heaps of money. This one may not have achieved the same reward, but it is a great depiction of men who have had to overcome the adversity surrounding their upbringing. A much more memorable and rewarding journey.

https://bradvanceauthor.com/2014/08/3...
https://bradvanceauthor.com/2014/09/2...
https://bradvanceauthor.com/2014/09/0...
https://bradvanceauthor.com/2014/10/2...
https://bradvanceauthor.com/2015/01/2...


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Ollie Always by John Wiltshire
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I had heard that a lot of this book drew on the author's own experiences, so at times I was distracted by wondering which bits were autobiographical and which just drew on thoughts and experiences.

In the end, I relaxed and took the story as it came. And there were many things to like about this book. First off, the scene where he manipulated the "meeting" was hilarious as were the books titles that followed.

Then there is Ollie. I felt for him trying to find a place for himself given the overwhelming (even if loving) presence of his mother. It's like I imagine many children of celebrities feel and why so many of them have troubles finding their own paths in life.

I loved how Ollie eventually found a way to come to terms with his Oliver namesake via Freddy.

And of course there is a dog. And a loveable one at that. I loved the way he leaned on people and how Ollie unabashedly used him to further his goals.

Don't expect lots of hot sex scenes, this is more two men finding a way to be together. Tom/Skint is a proud man. I loved the scene in the shearing shed he'd been living in, and the way Ollie reacted.

There were definitely echoes of Nik in Ollie and Ben in Tom, but these were more real and hence, more fragile versions.

This was the narrator discovering that "Once the me, me, me of life had ceased, hearing other people's pain became a great deal easier."

There were lovely digs at the reality of living in picture postcard New Zealand's remoteness. The temperature of the water, the cost of living.

I highlighted a couple of sections, but will probably see more when I re-read it as it is definitely worth it.

Tom did release Ollie's hand then, but only apparently to pat the dog. Ollie began to see a pattern here-stressful question...dog. He foresaw Bartleby being very well patted for a few more days and nights yet.

And this: As he says "He hadn't proved himself entirely reliable since he'd met Tom over shit, and parted over vomit."

It's lovely to have another stand alone from John even though I am waiting with bated breath for Book 8 of More Heat than the Sun.

This is not the gut wrenching high octane emotions or dramatic events. This is life. I absolutely loved the way Ollie fantasized about a "rose-cottage, sugar-coated fantasy" where he could "Cook them both breakfast and slip into Tom's room, be welcomed into bed with a grumpy but secretly very-pleased-to-see-him pat of encouragement on the sheets to crawl in alongside Tom and they could sit there eating, perhaps reading the papers..." OR... and you'll have to read it to discover the alternative.

And if JW is wondering what book to write next, those children's books sounded good. Kids books without the moral message or at least have it very well hidden. We need more books with heroes like Miles/Freddy. Raoul Dahl made a fortune with books bucking the "system" perhaps there is room for more. Or maybe we need a series of adventures with three legged Bartleby and his pedigree-in-disguise mutt partner. Gay dogs. Yep, I'd buy that!



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Axel's Pup by Kim Dare
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It's no secret that writing long books has always been physically demanding for Kim Dare. She's produced a couple in the past, but often we have had to be content with her shorter offerings.

When I saw the length of her latest release I nearly "creamed my jeans" to borrow a cliched phrase. I would even have been happy if she'd stopped at the halfway mark as already I'd got more than my money's worth. But then I would have missed out on so much more good stuff. Each added chapter served a purpose that once you read it you realized that it's absence would have been missed. So many books nowadays seem to have filler scenes (especially sex scenes) to get word count. Not here.

As I've said on many occasions, I'm not a fan of shifters, shedders and suckers. Yet in this book, the fact that Bayden is a werewolf is critical to the plot. Not because that makes him stronger than most. He is. Not that it makes him heal quickly. He does. But more important is what it means to be a pack animal in a world where they are denigrated, despised and disliked.

The politics behind the story is paramount. Even to the extent of not being able to have more than two adults living together.

In Queensland, the police have gone tough on bikie gangs, imposing similar stupid arbitary restrictions about riding together in public. Perhaps some have earned it, but for others this feeling they belonged to a 'family' is at the heart of their psyche. So denying them the right to show it hurts.

Much of the book is taken up with this world building, but it's not all about that. It's also about expressing your desires.

There were some lovely bits at the start when Axel struggled to get his sub to understand this and he only achieved it in a small way by depriving him of the things he enjoyed until he learned to admit these things.

Other aspects of punishing and penance were explored. Particularly difficult when it is almost impossible to punish someone physically when they can withstand pain so well and heal so quickly.

I felt for Axel as he had to throw the rule book aside and approach everything from a different angle.

There were a couple of typos such as "Whose" for "Who's" and a couple of other similar mistakes, but the writing, generally, was excellent. Kim has never been the type of author people will marvel about because of beautifully expressed emotions or elegant description. The words are just the tools to get the thoughts and emotions across.

It's the concepts behind her words that always makes more of an impression on me. Here's some examples

"What about what you want?
Bayden shook his head, rubbing his cheek against Axel in the process. "Not important."
"It's important to me."

So simply expressed, but in just a few words, she's targetted one of the aspects of "True Love".

Here's another one:

"Real submission isn't about faking how you feel. It's not about hiding things. It's about offering up your every thought, your every emotion and trusting me to use them wisely.

That concept is at the heart of this book as Axel slowly convinces Bayden to be honest about his wants and desires. So often he's held back by what he thought was expected, relying on lessons instilled in him by family, species history and conquering humans.

I loved the fact that Axel tried to understand what these were. Looked at the ones that were important and tried to teach him how so many others were not. Throughout this process, Bayden was fighting against the main rule he'd been taught:

Giving a human information to use against him was stupid, wasn't it?

So trust was very slowly earned.

And with that came love.

"I love you pup-every bit of you. You'll never need to lie to me abouth anything, or to hide anything from me.

But this isn't just true of a D/s relationship. It's true of any relationship. It's when you've found a person that this is true for that you've discovered your life's mate. Too often it's the opposite.

"Telling someone you'll accept them as long as they pretend to be someone they're not-that's not real acceptance.

To give the story flesh, there is a great cast of characters. No doubt they will feature in future books. We've already met Griz and Evan, but I look forward to hearing about the cop, Hale, the embodiment of everything Bayden and other werewolves hate. In the course of this story, his attitude changes as does that of others Bayden comes into contact with.

Given the decrease in output recently, I was concerned that Kim had burned herself out. It must have been much harder to write such a long story, but the wait was worth it. Sure some of the themes are present in all her D/s stories, but they came together beautifully balanced in this book.

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Waiting for the Flood by Alexis Hall
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I got a headache after reading this. Note, I did not say "from" reading this. But I made the mistake of looking up Game Theory on Wikipedia and trying to understand it. I can sort of. And I am in total awe of people who can discuss it intelligently.

Which our two characters do in this lovely tale by one of my favourite authors.

I'm going to reread this book and perhaps edit this review but I want to say how much I enjoyed it.

In RL I have actually been affected by a flood. Even had to be taken out by boat and wasn't allowed back in the flat for a couple of days. Just be glad we were spared details of the stinky clean up at the end.

But our hero should have no problems with that aspect as his day job involves saving precious things from the effects of damp and time.

Book and paper preservation is another thing I have had a touching acquaintance with as my brother in law has had training in the subject and deals in antique maps and prints.

So these two factors helped me get a handle on the story.

For starters, I knew I wasn't about to embark on a thrilling encounter involving a confident macho alpha male. That helped.

It also helped when shortly after the start, the self effacing, stuttering hero had a Save the Cat moment of looking out for his elderly neighbour. On one level he knew she was helping him as much as he was helping her but neither articulated that fact as it would spoil their interaction.

For readers used to being fed easily digestible romances, this story may cause them stomach aches. (Or a headache!)

The previously mentioned Game Theory may be seen as simply a means to make them both sound intellectual. This is why I have to reread it.

Game Theory is of prime importance to an ecologist worried about Global Warming, but I don't rememer this example being used specifically. Maybe I missed it. I was reading it late at night and woke up hours later with my glasses still on. Lol.

Google it for the whole scenario, but at the heart of it is every country has to decide whether or not they will decrease emissions, but because they are concerned that they will lose their competitive edge economically if other countries don't, most don't.

It's not classic game theory, like the one where prisoners are offered varying degrees of prison terms if they rat on the other, because with Global Warming the rewards aren't as definite. It's still an example where a person has to choose between a rational decision and an irrational one and they choose the latter even though rationally they are aware they are being irrational.

Okay, I can hear you saying now. This is all well and good for our hunky environmentalist but why include it?

Because our narrator is doing just that. Rationally, he knows he has to move on but irrationally he doesn't for all sorts of reasons.

I could go on but won't for now. Maybe after my reread I will see more parallels between the examples offered and their lives and the decisions made.

There are some beautiful quotes later on in the book when it really gets to grips with what is going on. Those who have persevered this far get this payoff. Those who gave up, like those impatient with stutterers, will miss gems like these:

I was, all overthrown by a sandbag philosopher who listened because he wanted to listen, not because he was afraid to speak.

or this

Feelings only exist in your head. Thoughts only exist in your head. I'm not sure how you draw the line between thinking about feelings, and feeling about feelings, or even just having feelings." He shrugged. "Basically: if you think you're happy, you're happy. Problem was, you thought both of you were happy, and it turned out he thought he wasn't."

To be followed up by the killer line later:

"It would have been so much easier if he'd done s-something, betrayed me or cheated on me.

To which our lanky, gawky, but oh so kind hero replies:
(If he felt that way)...

you wouldn't have really wanted to go on like that, would you? You wouldn't have wanted him to stay.

Rationally our narrator knew that but irrationaly he clung to this image of happiness he had created in his own head simply because he wanted it so much.

This book deserves a second read. But even on the first I caught onto the significance of the lack of a preface to the last chapter. The previous ones started in different parts of the house, mentioning the importance and the memories it held. In a way, he was clinging onto these memories, trying to preserve them just like the ephemera he rescued for a living. But the last chapter doesn't have a preface. He has finally moved on.

Two to three years of grieving over a ten year relationship, the only one he knows, is not "too long" as some readers have complained. For someone who rescues lost causes for a living, who preserves memories, he could have spent a lifetime like that. But thankfully at the combined urging of his neighbour, his ex's mother and his new friend, he doesn't.

I loved the way he saw the painting of himself done by his ex. He recognised it captured the passion he once held inside. He is not a cold, rational man. That's his problem. He feels things deeply. I get the impression (and the glimpse we see of it later) he loved the physical side of sex.

Luckily our red-headed, gawky, lanky environmentalist sensed this and wanted this passionate man who took great pleasure and was capable of such great love as long as the recipient was prepared to earn it. He carried out the same role in life. Our environmentalist saw the ephemera, recognised its worth, kept it dry, patiently teased out the crinkles and was rewarded for his time and effort.

Lovely story and highly recommended to everyone who is looking for something more, has patience and doesn't mind being mentally challenged.

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Learning from Isaac by Dev Bentham
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

In this era of endless series and sequels, it's refreshing to find a whole swag of standalones.
It means the author has to come up with fresh characters, plot and setting each time. Not easy. But very rewarding when it is done well.
While on the surface this is a series because at least one of the heroes is Jewish and the observance of religion at some point touches on the story, the only other connecting link is that the world they live in is loosely interlinked. So if characters from other books make a cameo appearance, it's more wondering how they got together as a couple or what their story is. Hence the books can be read in any order. In fact, the last in the series actually began first.
They are not cut and paste jobs either. Each story is unique and the characters are quite different.
There are no MM stereotypes or cliches.
Sure older professor and student has been done before, and if that is all you see in a story then you might not agree with me, but I love the detail the author has painted around that central premise.
These feel like real people, not story book characters. I liked the way the author took her time to establish their personalities, because this is what makes each rendition of this religious holiday theme different.
Nathan, a professor of ecology, is painfully aware that his youth is slipping away and fears that he is destined to spend the rest of his life alone. At first, the constant attention of a young good looking student is flattering, but Nathan is a stickler for the rules so he ensures lines are not crossed. Isaac is smart. He keeps pushing at this barrier, feeling correctly that they can meet each other on equal terms one day.
But they're not equals in other ways. Isaac is a student having difficulty paying for his education. Nathan is comfortably off.
Isaac was thrown out by his family when he came out. While Nathan comes from a supportive family. He even noted that Isaac, being Jewish and attractive was exactly the sort of boy his mother woud approve of.
Then something happens that neither can prevent, and the attraction that had been simmering explodes to the surface. Once there and acknowledged, they need to work through the ramifications as it pertains to their lives.
As the author states in the acknowledgements, the religious context comes from Passover, and the fact that it celebrates the freedom from bondage.
Religion per se isn't so much present as an observance of religion. This mirrors Nathan's observance of the rules pertaining to relationships with students and men much younger than himself. It also allows us a glimpse into the lives of others. And isn't that one of the reasons we read?
Dev is gradually re-editing these books as they come of out of contract and reissuing them. Chronoligically, it was the second book she ever wrote and like most authors, her skills have developed since then, allowing her to see flaws and places where it could be improved. I have only read the latest version and it is more than fine.

Driving into the Sun by Dev Bentham
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This makes it two out of two for this author's books so far for me. The character's backgrounds form an important part of her stories. They have affected who the character is and the issues they are dealing with.
Perhaps an expert in the field may be able to find an error or two, but from the point of view of a novice in the subject, her dealing in this case with a Native American seemed respectful and informed.
The complexity and gradual, realism of forging a strong bond won't satisfy the readers who love insta-lurv and perfect characters, but boy does it make a welcome change because of that.
The last scene on the ferry at Seattle was extra good as I did that on my long road trip there earlier this year. She got that part spot on. Right down to the clunking as cars rolled into place. Magic.
Now to see if she can make it three from three.

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